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Feminist author wants women to have good sex, starts sex blog

GHANA, ACCRA - "When I first come across Adventures, I thought it was a very interesting answer to curiousities - the things that we want to know about people, about their lives. The things we want to know about African women and what they were experiencing. It was beautiful to see it," Maame Akua Marfo, Singer. CREDIT: Yagazie Emezi

By Francis Otucu

Ghanaian author, Nana Darkoa Sekyiamah has started a website to offer comprehensive sex education to her female colleagues in a bid to have them appreciate the God-given ‘union.

Dubbed, ‘Bedrooms of African Women’, the website was started 10 years ago.

Sekyiamah’s interest in sex is less about being salacious (though it’s hard not to blush when reading some of the posts on the site) and more about health, empowerment and community.

Sekyiamah, who is in her early 40s, explains that it took her until the age of 30 to feel safe speaking about sex and sexuality with other women.

“Its goal is clear, to provide “a safe space where African women can openly discuss a variety of sex and sexuality issues,” she argues.

The blog has queer erotic writing; exploring how to send nudes safely (spoiler: there is no foolproof method to avoid your image being used in unintended ways); and the 2011 evergreen post which reveals just how much of a mystery female pleasure can seem: “How can you tell when a woman orgasms?”

“Sex isn’t hidden from view in Accra. It’s everywhere. But it mostly plays to men’s desires and insecurities,” Sekyiamah who runs her website and works as director of communications for the Association for Women’s Rights in Development, an organization that supports feminist movements worldwide says.

She adds: “”Within the international development discourse, whenever African women’s sexual and reproductive health is mentioned, they are spoken about as vectors of disease, or the conversation is about needing to control the fertility of African women. This discourse leaves out so much, specifically, the importance of African women controlling their own bodies. Pleasure is connected to well-being and so comprehensive sex education is essential to a woman’s full development. If you don’t have control over your body, what can you really have control over?”

According to Sekyiamah, there are many programs run by the government and international charities that focus on sexual and reproductive health, but argues that those programs tend to ignore pleasure.

“Christian fundamentalism is on the rise,” Sekyiamah says, “and there are dangers for physical safety. Queer women in Ghana have to gather privately and quietly and hope that no one tells the wrong person. Sometimes you need to have security at events.”

 

Adopted via CNN

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